Yesterday I had 3 coaching sessions with different women. In each one setbacks came up.

Bearing in mind that these were unconnected women from all sorts of working worlds, it seemed noteworthy. As we used to say on the fashion desk at The Times: 3 is a trend.

Last night I thought about why setbacks dominated these conversations. And I think this is the answer: because of the pandemic, we are already at capacity. Emotionally overwhelmed, maybe physically drained too; even if you’ve managed some kind of break, September always seems to hit with a bit of a bang. There’s so much positive expectation in the air that it can actually feel crippling. And so setbacks feel even trickier to overcome.

So to help you build some resilience, because that’s what we all need to bounce back faster and stronger, I’ve come up with a 5 steps plan, to help you cope better.

5 Steps To Bouncing Back Stronger

1. Swap The Rhetoric: Resilient people view a setback as a challenge. So start checking your own self talk. Instead of crumbling in the face of a setback, look at it as a lesson to be learned from; an opportunity for growth.

2. Be Committed: Research says that you cope better in the face of adversity if you’re already a person who is committed to their lives and their goals. Do this by identifying your reasons for getting out of bed in the morning and you’ll soon start to focus on the bigger picture.

3. Keep Your Loved Ones Close: Experts often talk about a ‘supportive environment’ when they discuss resilience. Maintain strong, healthy relationships and if things go wrong, you’ll already have a sense that you’re supported. Obviously this support can be literal too; but even just knowing that they’re there has been proven to help you cope.

4. Positive Mindset: Have a positive image of your own future and it will be easier to maintain this positivity if things go awry. If you need to, write down your positive future and keep it somewhere in view when you work as it will remind you there are always brighter days ahead.

5. Don’t Be The Victim: However tempting it feels, playing the victim won’t get you bouncing back anytime soon. Rather, focus your time and energy on changing or improving the parts of the situation that you have control over.

So there you go, 5 achievable ways to build your resilience and bounce back stronger when setbacks, obstacles or even major challenges fall in your path. You can cope, you have coped before and if you start to feel wobbly when a setback arises, remember to draw down on that supportive environment, focus on your broader life goals and maintain a positive mindset. Whatever you do, never underestimate your ability to cope.